Everyone is different

Everyone is different. Don't mix up that difference with good and bad, and superior and inferior. Whatever differences we may have, we are all equal. No distinction of rank for people. Idealistically speaking, I suppose so. But aren't we trying to have an honest discussion about reality now? Would you really say, for instance, that I, an adult, and a child who is still struggling with his arithmetic are equal? In terms of the amount of knowledge and experience, and then the amount of responsibility that can be taken, there are bound to be differences. However, such things shouldn't have anything to do with human values. My answer is the same. Human beings are all equal, but not the same. Instead of treating the child like an adult, or like a child, one must treat him or her like a human being. One interacts with the child with sincerity, as another human being just like oneself. Let's change the question. All people are equal. They're on the same level playing field. But actually, there's a disparity here, isn't there? 

Those who move forward are superior, and those who pursue them from behind are inferior. So we end up at the problem of superior and inferior, don't we? It does not matter if one is trying to walk in front of others or walk behind them. It is as if we are moving through a flat space that has no vertical axis. We do not walk in order to compete with someone. It is in trying to progress past who one is now that there is value. Have you become free from all forms of competition? I do not think about gaining status or honor, and I live my life as an outsider philosopher without any connection whatsoever to worldly competition. Does that mean you dropped out of competition? That you somehow accepted defeat? I withdrew from places that are preoccupied with winning and losing. When one is trying to be oneself, competition will inevitably get in the way. Young folks like me have to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps amid the tension of competition. It's because I don't have a rival running alongside me that I can't outdo myself. What's wrong with thinking of interpersonal relationships as competitive? 

But in many cases, a competitor will not be your comrade. Meaning what, exactly? Let's tie up the loose ends. At the outset, you expressed dissatisfaction with Adler's definition that all problems are interpersonal relationship problems, right? That was the basis for our discussion on feelings of inferiority. Yes, that's correct. The subject of feelings of inferiority was too intense, and I was on the verge of forgetting that point. Why did you bring up the subject in the first place? It is connected with the subject of competition. Please remember that. If there is competition at the core of a person's interpersonal relationships, he will not be able to escape interpersonal relationship problems or escape misfortune. Because at the end of a competition, there are winners and losers. It's perfectly fine to have winners and losers! Give some thought to it, then, if it were you, specifically, who had a consciousness of being in competition with the people around you. In your relations with them, you would have no choice but to be conscious of victory or defeat. That's pretty specific. Because one is constantly comparing oneself to others and thinking, I beat that person or I lost to that person. The inferiority complex and the superiority complex are extensions of that. Now, what kind of being do you think the other person is to you, at that point? No, not a mere rival. Before you know it, you start to see each and every person, everyone in the whole world, as your enemy. You start to think that people are always looking down on you and treating you with scorn, that they're all enemies who must never be underestimated, who lie in wait for any opening and attack at the drop of a hat. In short, that the world is a terrifying place. Enemies who must never be underestimated . 

That's who I'm in competition with? This is what is so terrifying about competition. Even if you're not a loser, even if you're someone who keeps on winning, if you are someone who has placed himself in competition, you will never have a moment's peace. You don't want to be a loser. And you always have to keep on winning if you don't want to be a loser. You can't trust other people. The reason so many people don't really feel happy while they're building up their success in the eyes of society is that they are living in competition. Because to them, the world is a perilous place that is overflowing with enemies. But do other people actually look at you so much? Are they really watching you around the clock and lying in wait for the perfect moment to attack? It seems rather unlikely. A young friend of mine, when he was a teenager, used to spend a lot of time in front of the mirror arranging his hair. And once, when he was doing that, his grandmother said, You're the only one who's worried how you look. He says that it got a bit easier for him to deal with life after that. Hey, that's a dig at me, isn't it? Sure, maybe I do see the people around me as enemies. I'm constantly in fear of being attacked, of the arrows that could come flying at me at any moment. I always think that I'm being watched by others, that I'm being subjected to harsh judgment, and that I'm going to be attacked. The people of the world aren't paying attention to me. Even if I were to go walking on my hands down the street, they'd take no notice! Are you saying, after all, that my feeling of inferiority is something that I chose, that has some sort of goal? That just doesn't make any sense to me.